Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
