...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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