ugly people sure do ruin things
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize