Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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