why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
