dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize