sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
