There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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