Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
