Christians are straight up FREAKS
even my farts smell like vagina
i love accidental penises.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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