Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
