I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
