Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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