Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
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