K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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