He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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