i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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