You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
