I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
