he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
