what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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