I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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