Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
