Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
