I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
