I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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