Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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