There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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