she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
