I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
