census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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