$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
