Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
