I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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