I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
