He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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