So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
