Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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