the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
