and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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