All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I want to fling myself into the sun
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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