I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
my liver is dry heaving
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
