Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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