She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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