It's Friday. Sex?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
