at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
