I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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