girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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