Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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