No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Are my feet made of real feet?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
