But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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