3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
