apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize