sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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