Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize