Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
