Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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