I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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