My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
