Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
