Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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