i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
