I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
