I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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