We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
