Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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