She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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