He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Even my vagina gasped.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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